


desperate in love

by coconut_juice_00



Series: Thirteen idiots [4]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance, endgame!soonhoon, this is in two parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-14 10:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14767653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconut_juice_00/pseuds/coconut_juice_00
Summary: Seokmin's love for Soonyoung reawakens after he found out about the other's wedding. Chaos and Misunderstanding ensued.





	1. Chapter 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokmin’s series of relationships in the past all ended in him drowning himself in tears – and as time passed, drowning in booze. The shot of vodka in his fingers feels so heavy and he doesn’t know how many shots he already took. He just know that Hansol bought a bottle for them to share for the three of them but it ended up being just Hansol and him because Seungkwan prefers to drink Pina Colada instead.

It was a seven hour flight, Seokmin can feel his knees getting numb at the feeling of his ass sitting flat on the seat and his long legs on one position. Chan has his mouth open as he sleeps, oblivious to the inner turmoil Seokmin is feeling. A seven hour flight means a seven hour of Seokmin drowning in all of his thoughts. He had to stop himself from that third glass wine from the stewardess before things get out of hand.

 

When they got off the plane and walked down the arrivals, Seokmin immediately feels too overwhelmed at the massive crowd of foreigners. And though both of them are grown up adults, Chan still depends on him in these kind of travels since he’s the older one. Seokmin mentally groaned. How to speak English to save his life?

 

“Seokmin! Chan!”

 

Chan’s eyes widens when he sees Seungkwan among the crowd waving at them in glee. And beside him is none other than his boyfriend, Hansol. They looked really well since the last time that they saw them. Hansol still sports a golden brown hair contradicting his boyfriend’s chocolate brown ones. Nevertheless, their closeness towards each other never did change. The only thing that did throughout the years was the label.

 

“Channie, you’ve grown taller, oh my!” Seungkwan did not waste time and wrapped Chan in a tight embrace. Chan whines. “Seungcheol and Jisoo-hyung were supposed to fetch you but something happened back at the hotel so we decided to be the ones to fetch you instead.”

 

Seokmin furrows his brows. “Something happened?”

 

“Don’t ask.” Hansol sighs. “I rented a car to get here. Do you guys want to grab something to eat before we to the hotel?”

 

“Hansol’s treating.” Seungkwan grins. There’s a protest from Hansol but that died down because he’s too whipped for said boyfriend. Seokmin couldn’t help the laugh bubbling out his throat. “It’s been a long time since we last hung out. We should catch up.”

 

“I’m tired but if it’s free food, who am I to say no?” Chan cheekily exclaims.

 

“Fine.” Hansol says in the end. “But I’m not helping you carry your bags.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

After eating at a burger restaurant that Chan picked randomly while on a drive, the youngest slumps at the back seat of the car, fatigue taking over him. His head is on top of Seungkwan’s shoulder, resting comfortably. With Chan sleeping like a baby beside him, Seungkwan couldn’t help but follow the younger in dreamland too.

 

“I heard you moved in with Seungkwan three days ago.” Seokmin turns the air condition low when he shivered at the coldness of the car. “I’m surprised you moved in there. Isn’t Jaehwan living in the same apartment complex where he is?”

 

Hansol scrunches his face at the mention of his boyfriend’s ex. “It’ll only be for a while. We’re currently looking for a new place to move into that’s near his workplace and mine. Besides, Jaehwan and I agreed on being friends for Seungkwan’s sake.”

 

Seokmin chuckles. “Friends? You and Jaehwan?”

 

“ _Trying_ to be friends.” Hansol gives a tight-lipped smile, eyes on the road and hands on the wheel. “They might have broken up but they are close friends first before the whole relationship thing happened. I’m not that worried anyways.” He checked on the mirror for any signs of Seungkwan being awake before continuing. “Just knowing that Seungkwan dated him to get over me is enough for me. There’s no competition to begin with.”

 

Seokmin playfully rolls his eyes.

 

“I heard, by the way.” Hansol trails. “About your ex-girlfriend.” He frowns. “I mean, seriously? That fast?”

 

He couldn’t help the groan to come out of his lips upon hearing that. “Hansol, please don’t remind me.”

 

“You two dated for eight long years and just six months after you two broke up, she’s getting married to some guy she just dated for two months.”

 

“She said she’s in love.”

 

“That’s bullshit.”

 

“We’ll you can’t control who you love, you know.” Seokmin looks down, a bitter smile on his lips. “And I kind of knew that she’s been seeing that person even when we were still together.”

 

Hansol snaps his head to look at him in disbelief. “Seriously?”

 

“It was just a feeling before… I’m just sad that it turned out to be the truth.”

 

“She’s a bitch, man. I bet that Japanese guy is just filthy rich that’s why she hopped on that train and left you.”

 

“She did say that she only dated me because she wanted to get close to you.”

 

Hansol is quiet for a moment before sighing.

 

“There’s a bar in the hotel at the ground floor. I’m treating.”

 

Seokmin looks at Hansol with a grin. “Thanks, man.”

 

 

 

 

 

Seokmin’s series of relationships in the past all ended in him drowning himself in tears – and as time passed, drowning in booze. The shot of vodka in his fingers feels so heavy and he doesn’t know how many shots he already took. He just know that Hansol bought a bottle for them to share for the three of them but it ended up being just Hansol and him because Seungkwan prefers to drink Pina Colada instead.

 

“Minghao and Jun-hyung are coming three days before the wedding.” Seungkwan said, eyes on his phone. “Wonwoo and Mingyu’s flight got pushed for tomorrow because they need to check on something first.”

 

Hansol nods. “Have you heard anything from Jihoon and the others?”

 

“They’re too busy. But they’re all scattered in the hotel so you might see them later.” Seungkwan looks at Seokmin. “After all, Soonyoung’s family rented out the whole hotel for the wedding. Tomorrow you might get to see a load of old people coming to check in their rooms.”

 

Hearing Soonyoung’s name got him downing his shot. 

 

He remembered his unrequited crush over the man. And then remembered his first relationship leaving him for another person because apparently Seokmin’s not _good enough_. And then his second relationship broke down because _she fell out of love_ and then his third who was caught cheating on another girl. And then his fourth and then his fifth and then…

 

“Why don’t they want me?”

 

Seungkwan and Hansol exchanged a look.

 

“Am I?” Seokmin winces at the pain on his throat as the vodka settles in. “Am I not that attractive? Or did I lack skills when it comes to sex?” He looks at his two friends. “Tell me, honestly. Am I not good enough?”

 

“You’re amazing, Seokmin.” Hansol answers. “The people who left you are the one that’s missing out how much of a great person you are.” He whispers a _thanks, babe_ to Seungkwan who poured him a shot of vodka in his glass. “Look, forget about that bitch. There are tons of people out there excited to be with you. You just need to wait for the _one_.”

 

“Seokmin, trust me. You’re not lacking on anything.” Seungkwan takes Seokmin’s hand and gives it gentle pats. “For the record, you’re in my top three on the people I had great sex with.”

 

Hansol chokes on his drink.

 

Seokmin coos, feeling drunk as hell. “Aww, you still remembered?”

 

“I had one of the best orgasms in my life in Mingyu’s closet and it’s all because of you, Seokmin. So stop downing yourself and celebrate!” Seungkwan exclaims, ignoring his boyfriend’s look of disbelief. “You got rid of the bitch. Now she’s the new guy’s problem.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Hansol waves his hands frantically. “You two –“ He gestures between Seokmin and Seungkwan. “–had sex before?”

 

“We were friends with benefits since college freshmen.” Seungkwan answers like he just told Hansol how fine the weather is. “You didn’t know?”

 

“No.” Hansol frowns. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“You were busy drooling over your girlfriend then.” Seungkwan smirks. “I need to get laid too, you know.”

 

Hansol downs his shot without any more questions while Seokmin throws his head back and laughs.

 

 

 

 

 

It was around three in the morning when they stumbled out of the hotel bar. Hansol is still too bitter about the fact that he used to sleep around with Seungkwan back then and keeps on asserting his dominance (drunk Hansol can be weird) so they called it a day and left Seungkwan pulling his boyfriend up in their shared room. Seungkwan had to convince Hansol how he was number one in his list since Hansol isn’t budging.

 

Seokmin smiles to himself.

 

He wonders when he will get that kind of relationship. He wonders when he will meet that person that he knows he will envision to be with him in the future. Someone that he knows will be walking down the aisle and meet him in front of the altar. Someone who will promise to be with him forever despite his shortcomings and flaws.

 

“Oh, Seokminnie. You’re here.”

 

Seokmin’s heart skips upon hearing the familiar voice.

 

There at the lobby with black hair unruly and looking so fine is the groom, Kwon Soonyoung. He looks like he just arrived from somewhere because he looks tired and exhausted. He smells like those new car air fresheners at those care rentals. But despite the look, he still manages to pull up a smile and it made Seokmin’s heart beat a little faster.

 

“Hey – oof!”

 

With three long strides, Soonyoung wraps him in a tight hug, clapping his back twice before pulling away, grinning. “Look at you.” He grins. “Smelling like booze. You really didn’t waste any time upon arrival, huh?” He chuckles. “You already settled in?” 

 

“Yeah, Hansol helped me with our bags. Chan’s probably already sleeping.”

 

“Ah, that kid.” Soonyoung gives his back another clap. “Anyways, I’m gonna go to my room now. Jihoon’s probably waiting for me. We should hang out later after we got enough rest. You know, to catch up?”

 

“Definitely.” Seokmin grins.

 

Soonyoung smiles and waves just before the elevator closes. But the moment it closed, the smile on the other’s face dropped. Seokmin might be drunk but he wasn’t blind. There’s something troubling the other male and he’s determined to find out the reason why.

 

 

 

 

 

Seokmin feels like hell.

 

His head is throbbing like crazy and his throat feels rough after puking for 2 minutes. He feels sorry to the room service that he called just to fix the mess in the bathroom but he’s too far gone to even clean up the mess himself. He made sure to give the young man a huge tip when he met him in front of his door, though.

 

There’s a breakfast buffet downstairs but Seokmin steered clear not wanting to meet up with Soonyoung and Jihoon’s relatives. It’s too early to receive some judgmental stares.

 

What he saw in balcony, however, is the groom-to-be himself and Seungcheol. When the older male’s eyes met his, Seungcheol’s eyes went wide before a huge grin is plastered on his face.

 

“Seokmin!”

 

“Hyung.”

 

Seungcheol gave him a look in which he ignored. He knows how the older detests being called hyung. He said he’s too _young_ to be called hyung. Jihoon smirks and blows a puff of smoke, grinning at the brief exchange between the two. For a moment there, he forgot about the fact that Jihoon is going to be married to Soonyoung. Hell, it was even weird because he doesn’t even feel an inkling amount of jealousy nor hatred for the smaller.

 

He furrows his brows when he finally registers the cigarettes in their fingers.

 

“They’re not going to like seeing you two smoking up here.”

 

“What they don’t know won’t kill them.” Jihoon shrugs before taking another hit of the cigarette he’s taking. After blowing a puff of smoke out his nose, he asks. “Want some?”

 

“No, thanks.” Seokmin waves away. “I’m gonna go ahead and look for Seungkwan.”

 

Seungcheol nods. “Sure. And you go and see Jeonghan afterwards. He wanted to meet up with you when he found out you and Chan already got here.” He takes a long drag and blows.

 

“Sure, thing.”

 

Seokmin exits the balcony, his legs dragging him down the stairs robotically, his mind blank of worries and everything when all of the sudden, he sees Soonyoung a panting mess accidentally bumping shoulders with him. He looks at Seokmin wide eyes and for a moment he thought Soonyoung’s going to snap at him. “Where’s Jihoon?”

 

Seokmin could only do nothing but point up at the balcony.

 

Soonyoung looks livid and there’s only a few times did Seokmin see him like this. After he pointed, Soonyoung did not waste time and run past him.

 

Shit.

 

 

 

 

 

Later that lunch where they finally get to all meet up like always (with the exception of Jun and Minghao) Soonyoung and Jihoon are like their normal selves but Seokmin can see how forced everything is. Like when Soonyoung grabs Jihoon by the waist, the smaller flinched and Soonyoung’s smile faltered at his fiancé’s reaction.

 

But they kept up the act.

 

Everything is fine.

 

 

 

 

 

One thing that sucks about being single is seeing all the couples around you doing couple-y stuff that can remind you of your bitter past relationship. Seokmin downs his shot in one go after seeing Jeonghan giving soft and wet kisses on Jisoo’s neck as the former nurses a glass of red wine on his fingers looking smug as hell. (Seungcheol, on the other hand, is like a child beside them, whining because he’s _sleepy_.) Then there’s Seungkwan and Hansol in the middle of the dancefloor, their eyes locked against each other as they slow danced against a Kendrick Lamar music. (Seriously?) Mingyu and Wonwoo look all domestic, discussing something under their breath on the booth where the trio are, their fingers intertwined while sporting a bottle of beer on their free hands. Chan isn’t dating, yes, but he’s already got the bartender under his spell with his charms.

 

Seokmin downs another shot. If Minghao and Jun were here, Seokmin would have curled himself on the floor of his hotel room and just rot.

 

“Yo, Seokminnie.”

 

He turns to look at the direction of his voice and gasps in surprise when he sees Soonyoung plopping on the stool next to him. The bartender asks him of his order and Soonyoung waves the man away, saying he’s not feeling it. “Soonyoung.” He said. “Hey.”

 

“Yo.” Soonyoung repeats. The smile on his face contradicts that one that Seokmin saw last time. “How are you doing? I heard about what happened to your ex-girlfriend. Sucks, huh?”

 

Seokmin groans. “Seriously? I’m not surprised anymore if Jun and Minghao knew of what happened.”

 

“News travel fast if Jeonghan knows.”

 

Seokmin sighs.

 

When everything went quiet, he turns his head to the side only to see Soonyoung staring at Seungkwan and Hansol with a small smile on his face. And that smile, Seokmin swallows hard, hits really close to home. Soonyoung’s smile never fails to captivate anyone – even him.

 

“Time run so fast, huh?” He hears the other whisper. “One time, Hansol was a crying mess over Seungkwan and now they’re probably screwing around on bed sheets in the morning.”

 

“Yeah.” Seokmin chuckles. “I remember him asking us to set him up a date. Always failed.”

 

Soonyoung laughs. “And I remember when Hansol and that artist, Park Jimin went out on a blind date because Jihoon –“ He falters.

 

Seokmin noticed the change on his friend. He opens his mouth to ask him what’s wrong but stops when he realizes how dumb the question is. He opens them again to try another question but Soonyoung opens up and speaks first.

 

“When do you think will time run out for them?” Soonyoung whispers.

 

Seokmin furrows his brows. “What do you mean –“

 

“Hey,” Soonyoung sharply snaps his fingers at the bartender and grins mischievously. “I’d like to get a Bacardi please?” The bartender nods and gets a shot glass. “Like the whole bottle.”

 

The bartender blinks rapidly before nodding, giving Soonyoung the whole bottle. Soonyoung grins. “Put it in under my name, Kwon Soonyoung.” Said bartender’s eyes went wide when he heard the name. “Thank you, my kind man.” He winks and then turns to him. “So you want to stay here or do you want to go out in an adventure with me?”

 

Seokmin did not hesitate and nods.

 

 

 

 

 

“S-Soonyoung, what are we doing?” Seokmin reaches for the older male’s arm but he was too quick so he ended up grabbing on air. Soonyoung even got the gal to get a shot glass and Seokmin being a good friend, is the one who keeps on pouring him shots. When Seokmin had threatened to cut him off, Soonyoung pulled out his most dangerous weapon –

 

…his pout.

 

Everything is fine, to be honest… at first. But the moment the driver pulled up in front of an odd open area with a diving cord, that’s when all hell broke loose for Seokmin.

 

“Soonyoung!” Soonyoung is drunk – 60% drunk – and he wants nothing more but to stop this outrage. But the American man, who looks like he knows Soonyoung, gives them the go and ushered them inside. Seokmin wails. “Soonyoung, are you crazy?!”

 

“Nope.” He said popping the p. “I’ve always wanted to do this before my wedding day.” He chuckles and takes the bottle out of Seokmin’s grasp, gave it a swig, wincing at the burn in his throat before giggling like a school girl. “Thank you!” He exclaims in a tone like Dory in Finding Nemo when she was talking to a whale.

 

_“Hey, Soon. You ready?”_

 

 _“Yesh!”_ Soonyoung giggles and lets the man take him inside an elevator kind of thingy and all Seokmin could do is helplessly stare at his best friend as he’s taken up at the very top. He ran outside after seeing Soonyoung wearing a helmet and a vest and then he’s talking to that same American guy. Then the next thing he knows is he’s already jumping off the platform after screaming, “Wakanda Forever!”

 

“Fucking hell, Soonyoung.” He mutters under his breath.

 

Soonyoung giggles like crazy as he sways back and forth, the chord wrapped around tight on his legs.

 

 

 

 

 

Seokmin has to usher Soonyoung back at the hotel after that drunken heist. The smaller of two is clinging to him tightly like a koala. He huffs and thank the heavens he decided not to drown himself with liquor. It would have been a nightmare.

 

He double checked on the room number that Seungcheol texted him a while ago before knocking twice. And upon realizing where they are, Soonyoung just had to act like a kid and began to flail on his back.

 

“No!” He whines. “No, don’t take me there. No!”

 

Seokmin furrows his brows. “What are you talking about? Jihoon’s probably worried sick.”

 

The door opens as in on cue, revealing Jihoon on his disheveled state. His eyes are dead scary and there’s a small frown etched on his face. “No.” Soonyoung whimpers.

 

“It’s already past three.” Jihoon finally said. “Where have you been?”

 

Like a stubborn child, Soonyoung did not answer. He sighs.

 

“Jihoon-ah, I’m sorry.” Seokmin decided to step in. “I did try to stop him, I swear.” The half empty bottle of Bacardi is almost slipping in his fingers. Fortunately, Jihoon noticed and takes it. He looks at the bottle and then at Seokmin and then at his fiancé.

 

“Let me take him.” Jihoon whispers. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay.” Seokmin answers. Soonyoung lets Jihoon take him. With Soonyoung’s size, Jihoon looks like he’s a small hotdog being swallowed by Soonyoung. But the smaller can be strong and he did manage to lift Soonyoung with his short hands. “You can go to bed now, Seokmin. It’s okay. I’ll handle it from here.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The door closes after Jihoon offers him a small smile in which he smiles back. But what caught his attention was Soonyoung’s defeated and bitter look.

 

Seokmin didn’t get to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey, Jisoo-hyung.”

 

Jisoo hums, eyebrows raised, but his eyes is still trained on the painting in front of him. The hotel hallways are covered with different paintings and sculptures. Jisoo had asked him to come because Seungcheol is wasted from last night and Jeonghan finds this activity _boring_. Seokmin didn’t mind. He needed to talk to Jisoo anyway.

 

“Do you notice something off between Soonyoung and Jihoon lately?”

 

Jisoo clicks his tongue. “So you noticed too, huh?” He was quiet for a moment. “They weren’t like this when we arrived.” He hums and looks at Seokmin with one eyebrow raised. “I know what you’re thinking and I’m protesting. I think it’s better if you let them resolve this one by themselves.”

 

Seokmin furrows his brows. “If you could see Soonyoung last night, you know that he’s suffering!”

 

“I know.” Jisoo grunts. “They both are suffering. Soonyoung and Jihoon are grown-ups. They know what they’re doing. So promise me that you’re not going to meddle in their problem. They can handle it on their own.” He sighs. “Why do you think we’re not doing anything? Hell, Jeonghan’s hell bent on locking them in one room already.”

 

Seokmin nods and laughs under his breath. Yeah, like Jisoo said they’re both grownups. Soonyoung and Jihoon can solve their problem without any help.

 

The only problem is, Soonyoung seemed to find out what his room number is and keeps popping up in front of his door out of nowhere with a bottle of whiskey or rum and sometimes with a game console.

 

“Seokminnie, wanna play a game?”

 

“Seokminnie, I’ve got a sweet treat. I know you’ll love it!”

 

“Seokminnie, I know this buffet down the street and they serve awesome international foods. We.Have.To.Go!”

 

Seokmin is starting to think that Soonyoung is avoiding Jihoon on purpose.

 

They were walking on the beach that night after Soonyoung drags him by force outside. It was just after the rehearsal dinner and everyone was tired and exhausted from all of the activities and interaction. There are only five days before the wedding. Of course, everyone would be so pumped about it.

 

Except the grooms themselves apparently.

 

After a swig of scotch, Soonyoung didn’t even wince at the taste as he stares at the sea in front of him with a small smile on his face. His pale feet are digging through the white sand of the beach and he wears thin clothes for a night so cold. “This...” He said, cold coming out of his mouth as he speaks. “...is where I first met Jihoon when I was still engaged to Mingyu.”

 

Soonyoung chuckles. “This is also the place where he confessed that he loves me.”

 

Another swig and Seokmin has had enough. He gently pries the bottle out of the other’s hands. “Soonyoung.”

 

“Jihoon…” He whispers, throat burning from the amount of alcohol that has passed his throat. “Jihoon doesn’t love me anymore. And I…” His voice cracked. “I don’t know what to do.”

 

 

 

 

 

Seokmin didn’t pry anymore and took Soonyoung in his room since the other doesn’t want to go to his and Jihoon’s shared room. Soonyoung is drunk as always and looking at him so miserable and out of it got his heart hurting in the most painful way. Soonyoung keeps on murmuring under his breath why Jihoon doesn’t love him anymore, asking Seokmin if there’s anything wrong with him. It reminds him of himself and Seokmin couldn’t help but feel mad at Jihoon for hurting him.

 

He forced Soonyoung to take a shower. When he doesn’t budge, Seokmin peeled his clothes off and bathe him. Looking like this, Soonyoung is like a little kid. Bright blue boxers soaking inside the warm water of the tub while Seokmin rinses and washes his hair and even soaps his upper body. Soonyoung keeps on muttering words that are not making sense to him.

 

He looks like a baby hamster wearing his clothes.

 

Soonyoung smells of lavender and the hotel shampoo and Seokmin resists the coo that bubbles in his throat at the sight of him looking so small inside his oversized white shirt. The half a bottle of Scotch sits on the table near the window. Seokmin has to grab the hem of Soonyoung’s shirt to stop him from taking it.

 

“You know,” He trails. “Drinking doesn’t solve your problem.”

 

“It helps me forget.”

 

“Drinking will make it even worse.”

 

Soonyoung scoffs a laugh. “What’s new?”

 

Seokmin sighs. “Hey.” He grabs Soonyoung by the elbow and forced him to sit down next to him in the middle of the bed. “Stop whining and just rest. It’s been a long day and I know you’re exhausted – emotionally and physically. Stop drowning yourself with booze. It’s not worth it.” He paused for a moment. “ _He’s_ not worth it.”

 

Soonyoung is quiet for a moment before whispering. “The saddest part was realizing we could have made it. If he was truly in love with me, he would have done something about this.” He swallows the lump in his throat and breathes out shakily. “But he didn’t.” He forced a laugh. “And that just meant that I love him more than he loved me.”

 

Seokmin curls his fingers into a fist and pulls Soonyoung in a tight embrace, placing his hand behind Soonyoung’s head as the other cries against his chest.

 

At dawn, Seokmin was still wide awake, lying beside Soonyoung in the hotel’s queen size bed. They’re facing each other, the cold air from the AC going unnoticed despite the thermostat going maximum. It’s freezing and yet, Seokmin can only focus on how beautiful Soonyoung’s eyes are against the warm orange glow of the lamp.

 

“Sometimes, I wished I fell in love with you instead.” Soonyoung whispers.

 

Seokmin swallows, feeling his heart thump.

 

“If I fell in love with you, we would probably have a lot of fun. Because honestly, you’re like my soulmate, Seokminnie. We would fight, but I trust you not hurting me like this.”

 

“I would never hurt you, Soonyoung.” Seokmin whispers back. “You know that.”

 

“I know.” He smiles and Seokmin knows he’s a goner.

 

His eyes accidentally flits down at the tongue peeking on Soonyoung’s lower lip and he unconsciously leans close. What he didn’t expect is for Soonyoung to meet him halfway and kisses him. Soonyoung’s lips are as soft as he have imagined it would be. Over the years, he kept on wondering – imagining – what would it be like to kiss him. And here they are now.

 

Soonyoung noses his lips after they parted and there’s a smile on each of their faces when Seokmin presses his lips against his nose.

 

“Good night, Soonyoung.”

 

“Good night, Seokmin.”

 

 

 

 

 

Everything was perfect, until morning comes.

 

 

 

 

 

Seokmin woke up to the sound of Soonyoung’s panicky voice, pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed. His eyes are blown wide and he looks shaken up. Seokmin wanted to ask what’s wrong until he remembers what happened earlier at dawn.

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Seokmin.” Soonyoung jumps when he realizes that he’s awake. “Seokmin, what have we done?”

 

He doesn’t know, to be honest. And he wished that he’s aware so that he can stop whatever he was planning on doing. He drags a hand down his face and lets out a groan. This can’t be happening. No, he refused to be labeled as…. _homewrecker._

 

“It was a mistake.” Seokmin whispers and looks at Soonyoung. “It was a mistake that shouldn’t happen. We got carried away.”

 

Soonyoung is taking panicky breaths. “I-I love Jihoon.”

 

“I know.” Seokmin answers. “And this… would kill him if he finds out.”

 

Soonyoung sits down on the edge of the bed, elbows on knees, frowning. There was a long moment of silence before he stands up, resolved. “He doesn’t need to know.”

 

“What?”

 

“Jihoon doesn’t need to know.” He sounds desperate. “I already lost him, I don’t want to lose him even more.”

 

“But Soonyoung –“

 

“You don’t understand, Seokmin!” Soonyoung scowls. And for a moment there, you can see how broken and scared Soonyoung is, contradicting the happy and smiley façade he keeps on making. And in a shaky whisper, he said. “I can’t lose him.”

 

And with that, he left the room, slamming the door close, leaving Seokmin looking at him with his heart racing nervously.

 

 

 

 

 

Seokmin feels lost. He needed someone to talk to, someone to give him the common sense that he needed. And what’s better to talk to none other than, Boo Seungkwan, his trusted advisor and best friend.

 

“I have a huge problem, Seungkwan.” He numbly said, sitting at the edge of the bed.

 

Hansol hisses, covering his crotch with a small towel to save himself from further embarrassment as Seungkwan hurries to get him some clothes. “You gave him a spare key in our hotel room?”

 

“I gave no such thing!”

 

“How did he get inside, then?”

 

“I don’t fucking know!”

 

“It’s so huge – it’s even bigger than Hansol’s dick while he’s fucking you.” Seokmin looks at his friends with a blank look. Seungkwan all wrapped up in a baby blue bathrobe while Hansol’s still in the middle of multitasking on putting on a shirt and his boxers. “Relax, guys. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

 

Hansol scowls. “I’m gonna kill him.”

 

Seungkwan hushes. “We can always continue later.”

 

Hansol gives a loud groan. “What’s the problem even about that you had to disturb us having sex?! And I was even _this_ fucking close!” Seungkwan hisses and slaps his arm, face red in embarrassment. Though, he couldn’t hide the frustration seeping in too. Seokmin really did walk in with a bad timing.

 

“Soonyoung and I kissed last night.”

 

And just like that, all of the frustrations from interrupted sex flew out of the window.

 

Seungkwan gapes at him in horror. “What have you done?”

 

Hansol sets his lips in a firm line, upset and disappointed.

 

This is going to be a long talk.

 

 

 

 

 

**Interlude:**

“You’re back.”

 

It were he first words that came out of Jihoon’s mouth upon seeing Soonyoung enter the hotel room. For once, he did not smoke despite the urge to do so. Instead, he’s drinking wine. Just a small amount, enough to keep his eyes wide open. He never did get enough sleep knowing that Soonyoung’s out there hurting. Jihoon couldn’t bring himself to.

 

He knows Soonyoung hated seeing him smoke. But he couldn’t help doing it since he tends to overthink. Jihoon is small ball of insecurity and a large chunk of cowardice. He needs all the distraction he can get.

 

But right now, he doesn’t want to disappoint Soonyoung.

 

“Yeah.” Soonyoung doesn’t look at him. “Yeah, I am.”

 

Neither moved in their spot until a few moments later. Soonyoung was the one who approached him – he’s always the one who initiated – and grabs his wrist. And then slowly, his fingers traveled down until their hands were laced tightly. Soonyoung’s hands are soft, how he used it is rough. Jihoon enjoyed the sensations, though and feels a tiny bit of happiness at the contact.

 

“I love you.” Soonyoung whispers. “I’m sorry for acting up.”

 

Jihoon sets his lips in a firm line. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have… I was wrong.”

 

“No.” He shakes his head. “There’s nothing wrong with being honest. We’re… We’re a couple. And it’s only natural for you to tell me what’s bothering you. It’s okay if you’re not feeling the same anymore as before, I understand.” Soonyoung bites his lower lip. “Thank you for telling me.”

 

Jihoon furrows his brows, squeezing Soonyoung’s hand. “What I meant when we talked that night, is that I’m not sure about the wedding...” When Soonyoung tries to let go, his grip tightened. “But it did not mean that I’m not sure about you.”

 

“It still hurt when you said that.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Jihoon whispers. “But I just want to let you know that my feelings for you never changed. I’m just… scared about…getting married. I just think that…everything’s hitting me all at once, I –“

 

Soonyoung’s eyes went wide and Jihoon is scared for a moment, thinking that he’ll leave once again. But Soonyoung instead leans down and cups his face to tilts his head up, slotting his mouth in his. His lips are soft, yet chapped and he smells bad, to be honest, but Jihoon would rather have that instead of not having him at all.

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers after pulling away. “For misunderstanding.”

 

“I’m sorry for saying it wrong. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

 

Soonyoung shakes his head. They’re sitting at the edge of the bed, their hands laced together as they stare down at their bare feet getting swallowed by the velvet carpet. It’s comfortable and yet Soonyoung looked tense and fidgety. Jihoon wanted to voice out his worries but was beat to punch by Soonyoung, asking a different question.

 

“Would you like to call the wedding off?” He asked quietly. “We don’t need to get married to prove our love for each other. You said so yourself that night.”

 

“It’s too late to cancel everything.” Jihoon answers. “My parents already arrived early this morning.”

 

“We can always talk to them. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

 

Jihoon hates how Soonyoung is always the one to adjust in every single thing that he wants. He’s sick and tired of this but he doesn’t want to force himself in doing something he’s not sure of. Not only will Soonyoung get hurt in the long run, he’s afraid it might damage his relationship to him to. And Jihoon doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to lose Soonyoung not when he’s the best thing that ever happened to him.

 

_No, let’s continue everything. I want to marry you._

But his words fail and he couldn’t voice out his thoughts. In the end, he could only squeeze Soonyoung’s hand, hoping that he’ll get the message.

 

Soonyoung nods, his voice solemn. “I’ll talk to my parents tomorrow.”

 

Jihoon can only curl his free hand into a fist.

 

 

 

 

 

Hansol is already back on his usual loose tee and jeans while Seungkwan on a button up shirt, looking like they weren’t caught fucking by Seokmin in the first place. The film producer, furrows his brows as he listens, arms folded against his chest while his boyfriend holds Seokmin’s hand in comfort. He understands their reaction. What he did was really fucked up.

 

“Let’s be positive.” Seungkwan attempts to lighten up the mood. “At least you two just kissed. It would be much worse if you two fucked.”

 

Hansol clears his throat. What Seungkwan said just made him feel worse. “I think you should talk to Jihoon. You should let him know because I think it’s unfair if you kept everything in the dark. He deserves to know.” He pauses. “That is if… you really do like Soonyoung then –“

 

“No.” Seokmin cuts him. Then his eyes went wide in realization.

 

Maybe it’s the reason why he’s not that passionate in pursuing Soonyoung. Maybe it’s the reason why he doesn’t feel envious at Jihoon nor any intense anger for the other male about his relationship with Soonyoung. He’s just… sad…afraid of being left behind. While Soonyoung, a man who he knows doesn’t take anything seriously in life, is suddenly moving forward, he’s here stuck in the aftermath of his disastrous relationship. It sounds selfish – and maybe it is – but Seokmin doesn’t want that.

 

 _Didn’t_ want that.

 

“I-I thought… I do.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “But I realized that I’m just… I just wanted someone to be with me while I cope with my heart break.”

 

Seungkwan sighs. “Oh, Seokminnie.” He moves over to wrap him in his embrace, placing his head on his chest. “You really are an idiot. But Hansol is right, you know? You need to tell Jihoon even if Soonyoung said no.” He smiles. “He deserves to know.”

 

“I’m just… confused.” Seokmin puts his head in his hands and sigh. “Soonyoung told me this morning that he loves Jihoon. But many nights before that, he told me, Seungkwan…” He paused, hesitation seeping in since Soonyoung told him a secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know but him. But he needs help on this one so he continues. “That Jihoon doesn’t love him anymore.”

 

Hansol sets his lips in a firm line. “That’s impossible.”

 

“But what about you try and understand Jihoon’s point of view first?” Seungkwan supplies to Seokmin. “Talk to him. We don’t want to speculate.”

 

“Okay.” He nods and sighs. “Okay.”

 

It was in that moment did Seokmin realize, he should have listened to Jisoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is too long to be honest lol so i decided to cut this into two parts :)   
> chapter 2 will be posted soon along with the preview for the next pairing


	2. Chapter 2/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, Soonyoung is always around Jihoon. It’s like the other glued himself on his fiancée not wanting to let him out of his sight. Some might think that it’s because it’s nearing their wedding day but Seokmin knows this is just the guilt of the secret that he wants to bury.

Seokmin wanted to speak with Jihoon privately as soon as possible. It was getting hard to sleep at night recently especially when he pictures what happened here in this bed with Soonyoung whenever he closes his eyes. Soonyoung soft features and small smile when they lay there face to face on the duvet that smells of lilies. But Soonyoung made it clear and inside, Seokmin does know that Soonyoung is very much in love with Jihoon. He doesn’t want to wreck a relationship not when it’s almost on the verge of breaking.

 

Unfortunately, Soonyoung is always around Jihoon. It’s like the other glued himself on his fiancée not wanting to let him out of his sight. Some might think that it’s because it’s nearing their wedding day but Seokmin knows this is just the guilt of the secret that he wants to bury.

 

No one wanted to hurt their love one because of their stupidity. It must be the reason why his ex-girlfriend kept the fact about her affair with that Japanese guy to him when they were still together.

 

Around lunch time, Jihoon is now occupied by Seungcheol. They’re talking about something and Jihoon’s got that wide and relaxed smile plastered on his face as he falls into a chill conversation with the older male. Seokmin would like to cut in and steal the smaller to talk before lunch starts but Soonyoung beats him to it. He looks happy and smiley as he greets Seungcheol but there’s a seething aura of jealousy in there that goes unnoticed by the older male. Seokmin is aware of Soonyoung’s tendency to get jealous easily especially if the person is Seungcheol, and he teased the guy before about this along with the others. However, this is the first time that Soonyoung looked like he wanted to sock Seungcheol’s face from even talking to his fiancée.

 

Soonyoung’s guilt is eating him alive. Seokmin needs to tell Jihoon before everything fell apart in their wedding. Jihoon is his friend, after all. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He finally got the chance the night before the wedding.

 

Jihoon is taking huge gulps in the flask he’s have in between his fingers, staring at the dark sea crashing against land at the dining balcony. He’s alone, thank goodness, but there’s a certain air around him that tells Seokmin to leave him alone. Nevertheless, he still pushed on and cleared his throat to get Jihoon’s attention.

 

Seungkwan and Hansol even gave their support by giving him that bottle of brandy the couple were supposed to bring back at home. Hansol bought it at a high price but with a good bargain (the original price of the brandy was so fucking expensive than what Hansol paid for) and since Jihoon loves drinking, they thought it would be a good idea to give this to him as a peace offering.

 

Seokmin’s grip on the bottle tightens when Jihoon faced him. “Jihoon-ah.” He calls softly, smiling. “Hey.”

 

“I know that you and Soonyoung kissed the night he didn’t came back in our room.”

 

The expensive bottle of brandy slipped through his fingers upon hearing, creating the most heartbreaking crash. He feels something wet seeping in his brown shoes but the initial shock of what Jihoon said got him gaping like a fish.

 

“W-W-What?”

 

“I know, Seokmin.” Jihoon said slowly as if talking to a child. “Soonyoung told me.”

 

Seokmin felt like a water has been splashed on his face. He makes these scratchy gestures on his fingers, feeling scared all of the sudden. “Wait, Jihoon. I can explain –“

 

“And it’s…okay.” Jihoon smiles. “Definitely okay, Seokmin. Don’t worry about it. Let’s just forget everything that happened, hmm?” Then he looks down on the smashed bottle that made a mess on the floor. Jihoon winced. “You do know that wasting such great liquor is ill-mannered, Seokmin?” He offers his flask. “Here, it’s scotch. It slightly burns but it’s great the second time.”

 

“How can you say that?” Seokmin frowns.

 

Jihoon blinks. “Say what?”

 

“That – that it’s okay when it’s definitely not.” He gestures to himself. “I kissed your fiancé! The love of your life! The man you’re supposed to be married tomorrow! And you’re just…” He makes a wild gesture. “…acting like everything’s good?!” He punched his chest. “I am a horrible friend, Jihoon.”

 

“I know you are, Seokmin.” Jihoon nods. “But like I told you, it’s okay. Now will you take this flask or not? It’s good scotch. Jun even gave this to me earlier this morning when they came. Look at the dragon etched on this flask.” He takes a gulp and hums in delight. “The scotch tastes like heaven, too.”

 

Seokmin sighs. “Jihoon-ah.”

 

“And it’s okay, Seokmin.” Jihoon continues. “The wedding’s off. Soonyoung just went to his parent’s room to talk about it. We’re calling everything off.” He takes another huge gulp and winces afterwards. “I could never get use to the burn, though.” He chuckles.

 

Oh, no. What has he done? He’s destroyed a relationship. But not just any relationship, he destroyed his **friends’** relationship. Seokmin takes a huge breath through his nose and steels himself, closing his eyes.

 

“Punch me.”

 

Jihoon furrow his brows. “What?”

 

“Just…” He slaps his face lightly, hitting the part where he wants Jihoon to throw a fist at him. “…punch me. “

 

“Why would I punch you?”

 

“Your relationship with Soonyoung wouldn’t be like this if I didn’t interfere. You two would have gotten married tomorrow but no, it’s not going to happen anymore because of me. And because of that, I am terribly sorry, Jihoon.” Seokmin scrunches his face and clamps his eyes shut hard. “So I want you to punch me.”

 

Jihoon blinks rapidly and looks at him as if he grew two heads. “What the fuck are you talking about, Seokmin? Stand up properly and drink with me for fuck’s sake.” He chuckles. “Stop being so drama-“

 

“Fucking hit me!”

 

“I am not going to hit you!”

 

“I fucking kissed your fiancé so fucking hit me in the fucking face, Lee Jihoon!”

 

The next thing Seokmin knows, he’s on the ground nursing his face as it throbs painfully from the hard blow that he got from Jihoon’s fist. It hurts so bad that he was conflicted on whether to scream or cry. In the end, he settled in groaning and covering the lower half of his face – fuck, it’s bleeding. Shit, shit, shit, and shit it’s bleeding.

 

“Fucking, hell. Why is your face –?” Jihoon clutches his hand, whining like a little kitten at the corner of the balcony. “Is your face made out of brick or something? Fuck!”

 

As if by cue, Seungkwan arrives holding two glasses with ice inside and a huge grin plastered on his face. “Hey, guys! You don’t mind me having a taste of that –“ Then he paused and stares in shock at the scene. “What the…”

 

Jihoon is already crying while clutching his hand but he’s trying not to show while Seokmin looks like he just seen a ghost while he covers the lower half of his face, small droplets of blood dripping down his chin and splattering on his expensive shirt. Seungkwan clamps his eyes shut and sighs.

 

“Hansol, call the ambulance!”

 

 

 

 

 

At the hospital hallway, Seokmin sits across Jihoon. He’s already patched up properly with that huge bandage and cotton on his nose and cheek while Jihoon has bandages wrapped around his fist. He’s staring at particularly nowhere, completely out of his mind. Seokmin wanted to talk to him, apologize once more, but he thinks he’s already done more damages than before. So he chose to stay quiet in the end.

 

“I’m going to get something to drink.” Seungkwan mutters, standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

 

Before he left, he gave him a pointed look. He knows it was only just an excuse to get him and Jihoon to talk. But right now, Jihoon’s probably on his limit right now. He’s afraid their friendship might break for good if he ever talked. That’s why when Jihoon called his name, Seokmin’s heart made a giant leap.

 

“I’m sorry for punching you.” Jihoon whispered.

 

“S’kay.” He answers. “I deserved it.”

 

“No.” The smaller shakes his head. “What happened with Soonyoung and I, you have no part of it.”

 

“I still did a terrible thing.”

 

There are rapid clacking of the shoes heard from afar coming close. Both of their heads turn just in time to see Soonyoung looking dishevelled and completely out of breath. His eyes first dropped at Jihoon and then at him before it went back to Jihoon. And he knows he should have expected the other male to go over at Jihoon’s side without hesitation. After all, he is his fiancé. But the fact that Soonyoung did not even acknowledge him stings.

 

“Let’s go.” Jihoon said before Soonyoung could get a word out.

 

Soonyoung nods and helps Jihoon walk, leaving Seokmin sitting there in at the hallway, confused and not knowing of what to do.

 

 

 

 

 

There were no wedding that happened on the day of the wedding. Wonwoo and Mingyu were confused upon arrival. Minghao and Jun, who were oblivious at everything that is happening is also confused. The only reason why everything still hasn’t gone down to chaos was the sudden announcement that the day would be moved three days from now instead due to lack of preparation. Elders say it’s bad luck, but the Kwon’s and the Lee’s are having none of those elderly bullshit.

 

All of them look tense as fuck.

 

During the group’s lunch, Seokmin strayed away after getting food from the buffet table and takes solace out on the balcony only to stop midway when he sees Wonwoo eating his food alone. He isn’t that close with the guy. He only got to speak with him whenever Mingyu is with them so this is a rare situation that he ever encountered. Seokmin isn’t a fan of awkward situations so the normal thing to do is turn back and find another place.

 

“Hey,” Seokmin greets the man with a small smile. Wonwoo turns his head to look at him. “Mind if I join you?”

 

Well, he’s far from normal anyway so fuck it.

 

“Yeah, sure.” Wonwoo gestures at the seat across him. Seokmin whispers a, thanks, before placing his plate and glass down on the small table.

 

The man is quiet and he looks serious – leaning more into a frowny type of guy – but he’s surprised to see him even give a small smile when they meet eyes. Never judge a book by its cover, Seokmin thinks. “So why aren’t you there with Mingyu?”

 

“Probably the same reason why you’re isolating yourself, too.” Wonwoo answers.

 

Seokmin scratches the back of his neck and sighs, not being able to answer. Not wanting to look dumb, he picks up his glass of punch and takes three huge gulps to satisfy his thirst. The food for today is delicious, too. Shrimps and –

 

“So I heard about what happened with Soonyoung.” Wonwoo trails. “I never knew these type of dramas can still happen. But to be honest, what was he thinking taking advantage of you like that?”

 

He chokes on his drink. Seokmin’s eyes went wide. “Y-You know?”

 

“Soonyoung told Mingyu and you know my husband, he tells me everything.” Wonwoo chuckles softly. “Mingyu and Soonyoung are close friends. They always kept in touch even at a long distance. I really envy their friendship. Wish I have someone like that.” He shrugs. “But yeah, Mingyu told me about what happened. It’s a mess.”

 

“It is.”

 

Seokmin feels ashamed. The silence isn’t helping, too.

 

“Relationships aren’t perfect.” Wonwoo said. “There’s no such thing as a great relationship. It might look like everything is okay but in reality, everything is a mess. Right now, Jihoon and Soonyoung-ah aren’t meeting halfway. Misunderstandings pile up covering one thing and another and then, everything jumbled up.”

 

Seokmin looks down. “It’s my fault.”

 

“No.” Wonwoo smiles. “You’re just the unfortunate guy who got caught up in a crossfire.” Seokmin lowers his head and sighs.

 

Another long silence ensued.

 

“I heard Soonyoung is leaving to Seoul tomorrow.”

 

Upon hearing that, Seokmin’s eyes went wide. Wonwoo sets his lips in a firm line.

 

“He…He can’t leave.” Seokmin exclaims. “What about the wedding?!”

 

Wonwoo shrugs. “I don’t know if there is even a wedding anymore.”

 

“Screw this.” Seokmin stands up from his seat and runs, ignoring Wonwoo’s calls of his name. Fuck this shit. He’ll fix this. He’s had enough of Soonyoung and Jihoon’s problems. This is borderline abuse!

 

The only way he gets to escape this guilt is to make things work. And if Soonyoung and Jihoon won’t cooperate, he needs all the strength in his body to make it work even if he has to drag them both back to the wedding venue.

 

But first, he needs to make sure everyone stays.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, the first person that Seokmin would run to is Seungcheol, also known as everyone’s daddy. (Like seriously, he really does look like a dad _and_ act like one. He’s pretty sure he can satiate Jeonghan’s kinky side.) Breathing harshly through his nose, he grabs the older male by the shoulders, confusing Seungcheol. He looks all dressed up, too. Probably ready to leave the place and go back to Seoul.

 

“Seokmin, what –“

 

“I need you to go tell everyone to come to the wedding venue, right now.”

 

Seungcheol furrows his brows. “But I don’t understand? Didn’t –“

 

“Seungcheol- _hyung_ , please.” His grip on his shoulder tightens. “You are the only person that everyone listens to. We are not leaving until Soonyoung and Jihoon put their shits together and get things settled down. I want to sleep peacefully at night without my guilt eating me alive!” He exclaims.

 

Seungcheol blinks rapidly. “B-But…” He checks his wristwatch. “Jisoo has to go with on Doyoon on his book signing event and a press conference. It’s this week and –“

 

“I think we definitely should.”

 

Seungcheol and Seokmin’s attention went to Jeonghan, who’s behind the older male, a cigarette pressed between his lips but isn’t lit up. He takes the death stick off and grins. “I’ll call Jisoo so that he can get everyone. I’ll deal with Channie.” He winks. “I think Doyoon will understand if his editor will be late.”

 

Seungcheol releases a laugh. “Well, I guess the plan is on.”

 

Seokmin couldn’t help but sigh in relief, his shoulders sagging as if the weight on his back lighten a little. “Fucking hell, hyung. Thank you!”

 

Jeonghan places his chin on his shoulder. “We’ll take it from here. You go get Jihoon.”

 

“Where would I even find him?”

 

Jeonghan giggles. “When there’s alcohol, there’s Jihoon.”

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, how accurate that is.

 

Jihoon is sitting on the stool of the hotel bar sporting a glass of brandy, staring at the golden liquid with a dazed look. The bartender isn’t give them any attention and just continues on his work, sometimes disappearing to go somewhere. This time, however, he leaves the two of them out of respect on their privacy after spotting him. Good ol’ guy. He’ll leave a tip for him later.

 

“What are you doing here, Seokmin?” Jihoon slurs, eyes not leaving his drink.

 

“You really don’t… do anything, do you?”

 

Jihoon hums. “What do you mean?”

 

“Soonyoung’s leaving today.” Seokmin says carefully. “And you’re not doing anything about it?”

 

“S’not like I can stop him.” Jihoon tips his head to down a mouthful of his drink, wincing after he swallows. “Soonyoung knows what he’s doing.”

 

Seokmin frowns. “Is that what you always do? Just… Just run away? Run away and – and drown yourself with booze as if today’s just a normal day to you?”

 

Jihoon sighs in frustration. “I’m not in the mood to pick a fight with you, Seokmin. Go away.”

 

“And of course, you drive people away. Typical, Lee Jihoon.” Seokmin deadpans.

 

“I’m not –“ Jihoon frowns. “Stop it.”

 

“You drive them away and you isolate yourself just like the coward you are.” Seokmin spits harshly. “I-I thought…” He drags a hand down his face. “I thought you’ve changed. I thought… things are working out for you finally after Soonyoung came to your life but what happened?” Seokmin shakes his head. “Are you… Are you still afraid to fall in love?” 

 

Jihoon empties his glass and placed it on the wooden counter with a soft thud. “I’m not afraid to love, Seokmin.” He whispers, voice raspy.

 

“Then what are –“

 

“I’m afraid of not being good enough for him – for Soonyoung.”

 

That shut him up.

 

“I’m afraid of what would happen to me if Soonyoung left me because I couldn’t give him what he wants.” Jihoon’s grip on the glass tightens. “I’ve always denied it, but I’m afraid of losing the people I love and care about. Losing in touch with them…” He trails. “Sometimes, I wonder if there is anyone else that’s afraid if they would lose me.”

 

Seokmin bites his lower lip. “I would.”

 

Jihoon snaps his head to look at him.

 

“When I realized what I’ve done, I was afraid to lose you as a friend.” He said. “I was ready to drop everything I have just so that I could make amends with you.” Seokmin takes Jihoon’s glass and places it away from him just as he took a seat on the stool beside him. “And I know Soonyoung is afraid to lose you, too. Because that same morning, I saw how distraught and miserable he was just at the thought of losing you because of a stupid thing we did. I thought he was going to kill me!”

 

Jihoon looks down, laughing softly. “I’m sure he would have.”

 

Seokmin chuckles, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jihoon looks at him, finally meeting his eyes.

 

“You deserve that punch on your face, Seokmin.”

 

“I do. Yes, I am very much aware of that.” He snorts.

 

Jihoon breathes heavily and sighs, “Don’t worry, Seokmin-ah. I’ll talk to Soonyoung back at home after all of this is over. We’re going to clear things up. You don’t need to worry because even if everything is a mess, there’s no way that I am letting go of that idiot.” He grins.

 

“Instead of talking to him back at home, why don’t you talk to him today?”

 

Jihoon furrows his brows in confusion. “Wait, what do you mean?”

 

He stands up, pulling Jihoon to do the same. “Mingyu is picking you up today to go to the venue and I need you to write your wedding vows as quick as possible.”

 

The smaller couldn’t seem to grasp the information very fast. “W-Wait, huh? Seokmin, what the fuck are you – Wait!” But he’s too late since Seokmin is already running towards the exit. “What the fuck, Seokmin?!”

 

“Just write it with your feelings, hyung! I believe in you!”

 

Jihoon blinks rapidly, still very, very confused over what happened. “What the hell?”

 

 

 

 

 

Seungcheol managed to stall Soonyoung into leaving but the once energetic man is already on the verge of doing so. When Seokmin managed to arrive at the location, Seungcheol regretfully told him that he’s already gone to the airport. Of course, Seokmin panicked. Jihoon is already at the wedding venue, Mingyu said, and he’s even making a fuss on writing his vows. He needs the other groom, too!

 

“Give me your phone.” Seokmin snatches the phone on Seungcheol’s hand before he could even protest and immediately clicks on Soonyoung’s number in the contacts.

 

After the third ring, it picked up.

 

_“Seungcheol whatever you say, I am still leaving. You can’t just –“_

“Soonyoung, something happened to Jihoon.”

 

_“What?!”_

“You better come to the hospital right now. I’m texting you the room number and the address. Quick!” And then he ends the call. Then he turns to the older male beside him. “Hyung, do you know where we can get a sack that can fit someone as tall as Soonyoung?”

 

Seungcheol looks at him as if he’s crazy.

 

 

 

 

 

Soonyoung thanked the cab driver after paying and got out of the car looking dishevelled and distraught. Before he could even step inside, he feels something cold on his wrist, forcing him to turn around. He furrows his brows. “Jun? Hey, what are you – Ah!”

 

Jun immediately lifted Soonyoung-in-a-sack, wincing at every kick he received near his face, and runs. Mingyu appears not too long after to help the lift the wriggling guy.

 

“Go, go, go, go!”

 

Minghao sighs. “Why am I roped into this shit?”

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh, shit. No, no, no, no. Hey, stop!” Seokmin ran in front of the moving van in an attempt to stop making said vehicle stop in a screeching halt.

 

The driver, a bald man with a kick-ass beard got off the van with a scowl. “What the fuck, man? You trying to get yourself killed?”

 

“Listen, don’t leave, yet. We need you to play at my friend’s wedding.” Seokmin can feel his heart accelerate as he speaks. The inner fear of getting ran over is still fresh mixed with the fact that he just ran to stop a moving vehicle. Wow, he can still feel the fucking adrenaline.

 

“But I thought it was cancelled?” The man scoffs. “Besides, we already got the money and we’re already running late on our next gig. Could you do us a favour and move?”

 

“No! You can’t leave!” He scrambles. “I-I’ll pay you so just… hey, hey, wait!”

 

The man sighs. “Just move.”

 

“Everything needs to be perfect and all we’re missing right now is a band. They’re currently in a very deep misunderstanding and it’s my fault that things fucked up even more than it was and I just – I just need to make everything work again.” Seokmin pleads. “So just please, please go back to the venue and play.”

 

The bald man, unfortunately, is a force hard to persuade. “Listen, kid. I don’t really care much about your friends’ drama. We’re working people and we got mouths to feed. And right now, you’re clearly wasting our time.”

 

“I think we should go back and do it.” A new voice appeared behind Mr. Bald man. “There’s enough time to go to the next gig, anyway.”

 

Seokmin sighs in relief. “Thank you so…” He slowly raised his brows. “…much.”

 

Fucking, hell. She’s gorgeous.

 

“I talked to the other band members before getting off and they’re completely fine with it. Besides, I don’t think it’s right to leave without playing good music just because we already got paid.” She said with a small smile. “Your friends are getting married, right?”

 

It took a minute before Seokmin got his gearing back again. “Uh, right. Yes, that’s the plan.”

 

“There might be an additional fee, you know… Gasoline and all.” The girl giggles.

 

“It’s okay!” He exclaims. “I’ll cover for it.”

 

“Awesome.” She grins. “I hope things work out well for them.”

 

Seokmin hopes so, too.

 

 

 

 

 

“What the fuck?!” These are the first words Soonyoung said after he was freed from the sack. When he sees Seokmin smiling at him, he marches at the other male and would have landed a punch on his smug face if Seokmin did grab his wrist on time. “You’re a shitty bastard, Seokmin, you know that? What the hell did you take me in for? I thought there was really something wrong with Jihoon!”

 

“There is something wrong with Jihoon.”

 

Sooyoung scowls. “Oh, fuck you, Seokmin.”

 

“No, seriously there is.” Seokmin assures him like he’s talking to an angry hamster. “I wouldn’t go through such great lengths if Jihoon is alright.”

 

The other male sighs in frustration. “Why? What’s wrong with Jihoon?”

 

Seokmin smiles and pulls him by the shoulders, turn him around and pushed him forward. “How about you go in and ask him yourself?”

 

Soonyoung rolls his eyes and continued walking in, bitter because this is supposed place where his wedding is supposed to take. Now, it’s empty and void of decorations. His wedding plans written all on his thick binder reduced to nothing but unfulfilled fantasies. Seokmin is probably just screwing around with him. Is it really that bad to go back home and curl in his my little pony duvet and cry his heart out?

 

He sighs and drags himself further and then stopped when he hears faint music from a band. He furrows his brows in confusion and walks until he’s at the wedding hall.

 

Soonyoung gasps.

 

He spots his family in there – just them and a few of his close cousins. And then there’s Jihoon’s parents sitting on the opposite side. All eleven of his friends are there, too, and they’re watching him with proud eyes as he stands there looking dumb and frozen, still grasping on what is currently happening. And shit, there’s Seokmin at the end grinning like a mad clown and Soonyoung really does want to sock him in the face for doing this but somewhere deep inside him, he’s thankful.

 

Jihoon is at the end of the aisle and he’s smiling – like really close to hyperventilating but he’s smiling. Soonyoung couldn’t help but laugh until there’s tears springing at the corner of his eyes. He took his time walking down the aisle, eager to meet Jihoon at the end of it. And once he’s standing in front of him, he did not waste time to hold his hand.

 

Jihoon nervously laughed. “How do I look?”

 

Jihoon smells of booze and his hair is messily styled. It’s dry and a bit greasy looking so Soonyoung reckons that the smaller hasn’t taken a shower, yet. But still, it made Soonyoung’s heart skip.

 

“You’re beautiful as the day I first saw you.”

 

Jihoon smiles and Soonyoung’s world lights up again.

 

 

 

 

 

The reception is in full swing. The band plays these awesome song hits from modern to throwback. They even played a song that Jihoon composed. Seokmin didn’t know the band had no idea that a famous producer would be one of the grooms. Hell, if he had known he wouldn’t have a hard time persuading Mr. Baldy over there.

 

As expected, Soonyoung bawled his eyes out upon hearing Jihoon’s wedding vows so you can say it was a wise decision to let Soonyoung first saw his before Jihoon.

 

Hansol and Seungkwan were dancing in the middle of the dance floor along with other couples like Jisoo and Jeonghan and Jun and Minghao. Mingyu and Wonwoo were in a deep conversation at their table while Chan is openly _trying_ to flirt with the bartender. Seungcheol is dancing with Jihoon.

 

“Hey,”

 

And there’s Soonyoung.

 

“Do you want to dance?” Soonyoung asked.

 

Seokmin grins. “I can’t see why not.”

 

He lead him at the dance floor, with Soonyoung’s hands on his shoulders and his hands firmly placed on his waist. Soonyoung is smiling at him, cheeks full and eyes like crescents. He looks beautiful like this, full of joy and happiness radiating all over him. Seokmin couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers. Seokmin furrows his brows. “I shouldn’t have…taken advantage of your feelings like that. It was…very…”

 

“Douchey.”

 

“Yeah.” Soonyoung laughed. “Douchey.”

 

“So all this time you’ve known about my feelings for you, huh?”

 

Soonyoung clears his throat. “Well, you weren’t that subtle back in college. I just didn’t address it because I don’t want to lose you as a friend.” He paused. “I already lost you before. If it weren’t for the arranged marriage between Mingyu and me, we wouldn’t have meet again.”

 

Seokmin pinches one of Soonyoung’s cheeks hard making said male yelp. “The next time you feel sad and insecure, go and kiss Jihoon not someone else.” Soonyoung whines at the pain. “For a small person, Jihoon can pack a punch. I don’t want a round 2 of that punch he gave me. Almost killed me.”

 

When it was time to let go, Seokmin gives Soonyoung a tight embrace much to the other’s surprise.

 

“If you’re planning to divorce over one small misunderstanding in the future, I’m going to sock you both in the face.” He whispers. “Just think about the amount of effort I’ve put through here.”

 

Soonyoung laughs. “I know.” Then he tilts his head. “I’m not planning to anyway.”

 

He watches as Soonyoung takes Jihoon’s hand and together, they dance in the middle of the dance floor, just the two of them as the band plays. In time, he needs to accept that life isn’t a race. Everyone has their own chapters in their lives. Right now, Soonyoung is in his Chapter 20 and Seokmin might not even be half of where he is. He decided to live his life at his own pace – breathe and stop looking back on his mistakes and regrets.

 

“Hey,” Seokmin almost jumps out when Chan hits him on the shoulder to get his attention. “Someone wants to talk to you after the reception. They said something about the additional fee of the band? Just wanted to let you know.”

 

“Ah.” He laughs, remembering the conversation earlier. “Yeah, I do.”

 

Seokmin smiles to himself.

 

He’s ready for the next chapter in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for patiently waiting over this! :)


	3. Preview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Mingyu thought everything was okay, Wonwoo decided to leave.

It was one of those rare nights where they got the chance to have drinks and eat delicious food on a round table with faint alternative rock music playing softly at the background as they laugh joyously. It was an impromptu hangout that started when Soonyoung suggested they buy that new flavour of ramen when they went to the grocery store. Since Hansol didn’t get to come, he was the one who paid for the drinks.

 

(He transferred some money on Seungcheol’s account and used that to buy expensive hard liquor.)

 

Jun bought the snacks he got from China and of course, Mingyu cooked.

 

“Ah, Hansol would have loved this.” Seokmin moans after taking a sip of the wine that Seungcheol picked. In fact, the drinks that he picked for tonight tastes like heaven. It’s something that the older male learned from Jisoo. “Too bad he’s far too whipped for Seungkwan.”

 

Jun purses his lips. “Why can’t Seungkwan come anyway?”

 

“He’s a guest at some variety show.” Seungcheol answers. He has a cigarette in between his lips. Before he could get his lighter, Soonyoung flicks it off his hand making him yelp. The brunette (he just dyed his hair again last week) never did like smoking nor seeing anyone smoke. “You know Hansol. He never goes anywhere without Seungkwan.”

 

Whipped.

 

“So it’s just us five?” Jun furrows his brows. “What about Chan?”

 

“There’s a bug at this game that they’re developing.” Seokmin said after finishing his glass. “He’s been working nonstop to fix it.”

 

Jun sets his lips in a firm line. “I was hoping on telling this with the whole gang over but I guess that would be impossible since we each have different schedules.” He gives Mingyu’s thigh a pat and then a huge grin as he said this. The tall male looked at him in confusion. Now all of their attention were on him. “Do you guys remember on Soonyoung’s wedding week, Minghao and I arrived late?”

 

Soonyoung raised a brow at the memory of his disaster yet beautiful wedding fiasco. “Yeah, what about it?”

 

Jun licks his lower lip before continuing. “The reason behind that was…” He chuckles. “Minghao and I got married back at home then.”

 

Seungcheol almost choked on his drink. “Fucking hell, seriously?!” Seokmin **choked** on his drink while Soonyoung stood up, smiling, and his eyes disappearing as it does from the overload of happiness.

 

“You piece of shit, you didn’t even invite us!” Soonyoung makes a motion to choke Jun. Said male bursts out laughing from all the attention and the congratulations that’s been pouring in. “How come you didn’t even invite us at your own wedding? I thought we were friends.” He huffs. “The audacity!”

 

“It was a traditional wedding.” Jun explains after prying Soonyoung’s hands away. “Only our families were present that time. Since we prioritized your wedding with Jihoon-ah, we decided to postpone the honeymoon after the event.”

 

“Still.” Seokmin lowers his lips in a pout. “That doesn’t excuse you guys for excluding us.”

 

“We are planning on holding another wedding here, you know.” Jun chuckles. “Minghao’s already planning it and I think,” He pursed his lips in thought. “I think Jeonghan already knows.”

 

Seungcheol throws his head back and laughs. “Of course.”

 

“We should go out and celebrate!” Soonyoung hollers. “How about next week at Highlight?”

 

“I can’t next week.” Seungcheol waves in dismissal. “Jisoo’s parents are coming to visit and his stepdad invited me to go fishing.” He said it with a huge smile that widens when Jun gives him a congratulatory pat on his shoulder. “This Saturday would be great, though.”

 

“Saturdays are our date night so I don’t think that’s also possible.” The brunette hums and folds his arms against his chest. When he sees Seokmin busy on his phone, he smirks. “What about you and the bass guitar player chick, Seokmin?” Soonyoung wiggles his brows suggestively. “Tell me the deets, you hoe.”

 

At the mention of his girlfriend, Seokmin flushed scarlet. “We’re taking it slow. I don’t know. J-Just quit it!” Soonyoung bursts out laughing.

 

“Aw, look at us!” He gets the bottle of wine and pours their glasses individually. “Jun and Minghao secretly tied the knot, Seungcheol’s finally out to Jisoo-hyung’s parents, Seokminnie and his girlfriend are all lovey dovey together and Jihoon and I are finally living the domestic life I’ve always wanted. Yes!” He raised his glass. “I would like to propose a toast to us. To our wonderful future!”

 

“Wonwoo and I are getting a divorce.” Mingyu, who hasn’t said anything the whole time, mumbles, shattering the joyful atmosphere.

 

Soonyoung’s glass slipped from his fingers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued in the next story :)  
> thank you for reading.


End file.
